Sunday was the first day in over four years that my kids spent time alone with their dad. First time. What does that say? My stomach was just in knots driving them there after church, so many thoughts on what could go wrong:
1. He could fall asleep when they are there and they could do just about anything.
2. He could lose his tempter and they will be in panic mode with no one to protect them or mollify them.
3. They could just be scared based on his last temper tantrum.
4. Cade could do something that angers his dad and in return daddy would "punish" him by causing pain.
I could just go on and on. But in the end, I did drop them. I didn't want to say anything to Dre to make him feel like I was uncomfortable leaving them so I just said that if anything came up and he needed to leave or deal with it, just to call me as I would be in the area.
So then I had my first 5 hours in over 4 years where I wasn't paying someone to watch the kids while I had some time out. It was wonderful aside from the occasional twinge of worry! I got a pedicure, my haircut, did a couple of mystery shops at Circuit City and Sonic and went to the mall to shop. I used the last of my Christmas gift card at Macy's and bought some new hair accessories for Hannah and I. I'm taking her to get her hair cut on Thursday.
They are in dance camp this week. Their dad only knows they are at camp. I failed to mention the dance piece because I didn't want to listen to his tirade about Cade taking dance. He's 3 for goodness sake, they just play ring around the roses, stomp on the ground with tap shoes and play with hula hoops. I'm not turning him gay. Why do men fear that so much? Why are they obsessed with feminine things make boys gay? Why is it ok for a girl to play/pretend traditionally masculine things but vice versa and they just blow a gasket? It just doesn't make sense to me at all.
Now I have gotten a bit irritated with my mom lately because she seems to bend the complete opposite way when faced with opposition. So my dad or their dad makes a comment on something and then she has to shove it in their face and my son is caught in the middle. I wouldn't say she encourages Cade to wear lipstick, put on makeup and wear dresses but she certainly doesn't discourage him or encourage him toward more gender appropriate things. I finally asked her to put her lipstick up and bought Cade a bunch of different chapsticks to replace them. What's so hard with that?
Then yesterday morning, I caught her helping him put on makeup before they left for dance camp. I was so mad! I am not opposed to him playing with makeup when it's just that play . . . it's like facepaint. But not when we are going out in public. I had to get onto Cade and I was mad at mom for putting me in the situation.
The the "dress" she made him. It was fine for a while but with all the opposition he has gotten obsessed with it. I have gotten rid of it. I haven't told him and I haven't told mom. I will find something else for him. And I don't want to listen to her either. I just think it is time for him to be steered toward more gender appropriate things . . . for the most part. I am not at all opposed to pretend play, wearing shoes, etc. but this has just turned into an insane war and my son is caught in the middle . . . no more.
Ok, enough rambling for now. Their hours with their dad went well. He didn't lose his temper, and while they were ready to go when I went to get them, they seemed to have a good time. And I am slowly dealing with the gender stereotype issues we have in this family.
But I REALLY need a place to live . . . ASAP!
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